So, I just finished a delicious, nutrious lunch of onion-garlic cheese ball spread on Wheat Thins, peaches straight from the can, poisoness brown liquid (PBL hereafter and forever) over ice, with chocolate covered peanuts for dessert! The basic food groups for sure -- salt, fat, caffeine (let me mention here that PBL is Diet Pepsi, or in a pinch Diet Coke) sugar, and chocolate! What more could a person want? MORE, that's what! Actually, I don't really eat meals any more. I just sort of graze all day. Did I mention I started this "lunch" at about 7 a.m.? Yes, it's true! And further, I lied when I said I was finished. I will continue to graze in this fashion until one or more of the items in my basic food group menu runs out. Then I will go to the store and buy some more! And I will keep munching until I clock out at midnight or so. But then I will probably get up at about 2 a.m. to graze a little more, then at 5 a.m. when I will graze a little more and also swallow an Excedrin for my headache, and then I will get up again tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. to stay and begin the graze-athon again! You know, I read an article about a woman who grazed her way up to almost 1,000 pounds! She said that she never consumed huge meals to get that fat -- just grazed all day! Well -- I guess eating my way up to 1,000 pounds is as good a goal as any -- so look out -- here comes Chubby Woman!
Oh, and did I mention where I learned these eating habits? From my dear old 90-year-old daddy, that's who. How much does he weigh? Considerably less than 1,000 pounds. In fact I'd guess that he weighs in at about a buck twenty-five! Not fair!!!!
Now that's pretty silly!
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